A Memorial Birthday for Zoey and Piper

Hello Everyone!!

I am feeling great since my TAC surgery.  I prayed constantly for a speedy recovery because I knew I would have to begin working in my classroom and going to inservices, and I really did not want to depend on pain medication for too long.  It has been one week since leaving Chicago and honestly I can hardly feel my incision anymore.  I have been off all medication for 2 days and I am feeling great!  Walking around, cleaning the house, even going shopping!  God definitely answered my prayers and I could not be happier.

I also have been back in touch with my IVF nurse.  She is so excited to hear from me and let me know how many people at the fertility center are pulling for us.  They have honestly become like family to me, and they all love us so much.  I have started my supplements again and will go in for my prerequisite bloodwork in November.

I am so excited to begin our journey to bringing our living baby into the world.  But I don't want anyone to think I am forgetting about our girls, and I definitely don't want them to be replaced or looked over as we begin the next steps in our lives. 

Zoey and Piper's first birthday will be November 9th.  I can't believe it has been almost a year since losing them.  I really want to have some sort of memorial party for them.  I want to make a tradition for this and celebrate their birthday every year, so they are never forgotten by us and they are known by any of their future siblings.  I am thinking some sort of dinner party, and releasing biodegradable lanterns with messages from each guest written on them.  I know in my heart they are with me always, looking down on me, and I just can't fathom letting their special day go by without memorializing them in some way.

Please let me know if you would be interested in attending my girls' memorial birthday.  I know it may be weird or uncomfortable for some people and I completely understand that.  But they deserve to be recognized and remembered their birthday, living or not.

Thank you all for staying on this wild and crazy ride with me!
Here is a picture of the supplements I will be taking for the next year and a half or so.. yay me..
I am also attaching the blog from which I got the idea about the lanterns.  There are lots of pictures that may explain my idea better than I can.  I sincerely hope you are able to be a part of it!

Paper Lantern Memorial 

TAC surgery

Well, we are back from Chicago!  I still find it hard to believe that I found out about the abdominal cerclage just 4 short months ago, decided to go for it, and now here I am, TAC-ed up!

We got to Chicago Tuesday evening and it was freezing! Seriously, we let TN when it was about 100 degrees, so of course all we packed was shorts and tank tops.  We got to Chicago and were welcomed to a windy 70 degrees.. SO our first stop was to get jackets!! Then we had the most delicious pizza ever (who can go to Chicago and NOT have the famous "pie") and went to bed.  I got to the surgery center at 6:30am to get prepped for surgery.  Dr. Haney came in and once again explained how the TAC works, why it is so amazing, and how I will never have to experience loss again.  He also told me when I DO get pregnant, my uterus is going to be held very high by the TAC, so I will basically look like a very large beach ball! Will had a good laugh about that one.. Next thing I know, I get a mask on my face, then wake up about 2 hours later.

Dr. Haney said everything went perfect.  He said he looked at my uterus, ovaries, and everything when he was in there and it all looked great, no issues.  He said I did not have any fatty buildup around my cervix, and it was not short or swollen.  He said there is NO WAY anyone could tell it was incompetent (even him) until he touched it.  When you touch a cervix, it is supposed to feel like touching a plastic straw (hard, rigid), but when he touched mine, it was squishy, like play doh.  The good news was that is is nice and long, and since it wasn't swollen or anything, he easily put 2 bands in, as high as they would go.  He said these bands hold a total of 140 pounds, and I will have NO problem carrying twins.  He also said he loved the tattoo I got for my girls, and he realizes what a big deal this is for me.  He looked me right in the eye and said "you no longer have incompetent cervix, now go get pregnant!!"

The next day we did some sight seeing in Chicago (my dad pushed me around in a wheelchair! Will and I were a match made in Heaven, lol).  We went to Millennium Park and saw "The Bean", ate some delicious Chicago food, and looked at all the amazing buildings before we went home.

So, now I officially have a Trans-abdominal Cerclage and am ready to do IVF again!  The next step is getting on Will's insurance in November.  His insurance covers 90% of IVF, so in the meantime we are saving up for the other 10%, the deductible, and the cost of medication.  We are nervous to start the whole process again, but I know Zoey and Piper are cheering for mommy and daddy up in Heaven!!

Here are some pictures from Chicago, and a picture of the difference between the TAC and other types of cerclages.  The lower the cerclage, the higher the likeliness of funneling and dilating through it and losing the baby anyway (along with bedrest, or a very long NICU stay with the baby suffering from lots of lifelong problems)  My doctor (95% of doctors) only do the McDonald cerclage, which only has about a 75% success rate (and that includes babies born at 24 weeks that have 6-9 month NICU stays..) My TAC has a 99% success rate (only includes babies born after 37 weeks!)