Ultrasounds 2 and 3

So this week has been a crazy week filled with doctors, bloodwork, and ultrasounds!  I basically have to go in every other day so the doctor can monitor my estrogen level to make sure it isn't getting too high, as well as checking on how many eggs I am growing, how big they are, and to help them determine when I am ready to take the shots to trigger ovulation for the egg retrieval.  The doctor today said my uterine lining looks "great!!" and she said I am a rare case (in a good way) because all of my eggs are growing at the exact same rate, while my estrogen level is staying pretty low, which is the "ideal" scenario.  I told Will that I feel like I am the star student in class!  So, the nurse just called and said to take my stimulant meds one more time tonight, then trigger shot (for ovulation) Sunday night.  We go back Monday just for bloodwork and to talk to our nurse about egg retrieval stuff (we know the drill, lady) and then our egg retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday morning at 9am.  Of course, it would be on the one day I have a dentist appointment and was going with my mom to get her hair done, but since its for the egg retrieval, I am fine with it!  I am also very excited because the nurse said both my retrieval and my transfer will be with MY doctor.  I know he is seriously wanting me to be pregnant.. I have been a thorn in his side (so to speak) and a case he can't solve for a good 3 years, so I know he is going to do everything in his power to make sure this works.

Speaking of "making sure it works".. I have read so many sweet comments people have said to me!  I have so many people praying for us and wishing us the best.  But lets talk, friends.  I know you all are thinking exactly what we are thinking.  "Oh! I am so happy for them!!... I really hope this works... what if it doesn't work..."  We are so very excited about doing all of this again, but to say we were not terrified would be a lie.  Though there are so many positives, medically, to doing IVF a second time, the negative side of it is having flashbacks of being here 2 years ago and being so excited and calculating my due date and picking baby names and nursery colors.. only to have my world come crashing down 3 weeks later and spend the next 2 long years crawling back up from the pits of Hell.  Believe me, I haven't forgotten!  BUT I also can not let fear hold me down.  I have learned to live by one motto since we began this journey again: "Stop worrying about what could go wrong and start thinking about what could go right."  If I let my mind wander, my fear sometimes takes over and I begin to panic.  I start re-preparing myself for impact and getting my designated corner of my room ready with my shot glass and pillow that I have been to so many times for negative pregnancy tests after IVF and IUIs and pregnancy announcements and baby showers.... But then I think about what could go right.  This is IVF here.. 90ish% success for someone like me, with perfect ultrasounds and flawless bloodwork.  Yes, it could go wrong, but it could also go so, so right.  So, we are choosing to think about all of the things that could go right!! Another motto I am living by is to "give it to God and go to sleep".  There is only so much worrying and scenario playing a person can do.  And what good is it?  Does it change anything?  Does it help the outcome?  No.  The only one who can change anything or predict the outcome of something is God.  So give it to him, and go to sleep!!

So friends, do not worry about me!! I know it is scary to see me so happy and excited and know that in 3 weeks my world can collapse again, but let's as a group agree that we will not think of it again until we need to (hopefully never)  Let's all be positive, let's all pray for success, give it to God, and go to sleep!

I have a few pictures for you today.  I have the medical picture of a normal ovary (top picture 1-2 small eggs) and a stimulated ovary (bottom picture..mine have about 17.. ouch!)  and my favorite life mottos right now.  Pray for my little eggies, and send me positive thoughts on Tuesday at 9:00!

Ultrasound 1

Hey guys! Today was our first ultrasound to check on our little eggies.  I was excited to see how everything was progressing because I am on new medications with different doses than last time.  The good thing about doing this whole IVF thing for a second time is that I am not getting the "basic workup".. meaning I am not getting a standard IVF plan and hoping it works.  Instead, my doctors and nurses have experience with how my body reacts to the medications, what went right, what went wrong, what could be better, etc. etc.  So I have a much more personalized plan for my body this time, which is hopefully going to make a huge difference!
My nurse called with the results about an hour ago.  She said my estradiol (estrogen) level was 376, which is lower than last time.  My doctor said last time I was on stimulant meds my eggs came out "guns blazing" (?!?!?!) and I had way too many, so they couldn't grow big enough or as good of a quality as they could have been.  So this time he is going for a more "quality over quantity" approach, which means less eggs, better quality.  My nurse said everything looked perfect today, so keep taking my meds as I am and go back in again on Thursday.
Since this blog has turned into more of a rant educational thing, I figured I would take a picture of the medicine I take every day.  Here we have a terrible painful nasty nauseating crazy pills lovely cocktail of coq10, prenatals, vitamin D, folic acid, dexamethesone, gonal F, lupron, and menopur.  Say that 5 times fast!!

Suppression Check

Hey everyone!  Today was our suppression check.  I have been on birth control and Lupron for about a month, and the doctor has to check and make sure all of my eggs and hormones are nice and rested so they can get crazy overstimulated over the next 2 weeks!! I did a lot better with side effects this time.  I really didn't have any mood swings or crying fits!  Mostly I have just been super nauseous every day and had a few hot flashes here and there.  But I will take that over mood swings any day! 
First, the phlebotomist did my bloodwork, then we did the ultrasound to check my follicles.  It is so funny (sad!!) that Will and I know everyone who works at the fertility center.  When we went in today, everyone we saw was like "hey guys!!" "How have you been?" "Good to see you!" "long time no see!" as they carry around our HUGE file, which I am sure weighs a good 5 pounds!!  A fertility center is not exactly a place you want to become popular in because you have been a loyal patient for 3 years.. BUT it is definitely reassuring to see friendly, familiar faces during such an anxious time.  Anyway, after our ultrasound our nurse talked to us about my medications and said we did not need to do a trial embryo transfer, basically because I have had enough catheters shoved in me between IVFs and IUIs over the past 2 years that they are pretty confident they can easily do it again during the transfer.. so that was good!  The nurse called a few minutes ago to tell me my e2 level was 36 which means I am suppressed.  So, I will start my stimulation drugs on Saturday, and begin my lovely rounds of bloodwork and ultrasounds on Tuesday the 24th.  Hopefully our egg retrieval will be the first week of July.  Here is a picture of my stimulant injectable meds.  Gonal-F.. it's what's for dinner!

Meds!

Hi everyone!  Will and I have been in full swing IVF mode as of May 23rd.  Right now I am in the suppression stage, so I am taking birth control and will start lupron Thursday.  My suppression check is scheduled for June 17th, and then a whole bunch of lovely ultrasounds, then egg retrieval the week of June 30th.  I am SO not excited about taking lupron again.. last time I am pretty sure Will almost had me admitted to the looney bin!! I also have to take a bunch of new meds, including menopur, Gonal F, and bravelle patches.  Will and I decided to skip the IVF class this time because we thought we were pros.. until I opened my box of meds!! No idea what I am doing!! Sooo I will have to call my nurse and basically tell her I am not smarter than a fifth grader (or in this case, smarter than IVF class participants) and have her explain what each med is for and how/when to take it.  I am not nearly as stressed and frantic as I was at this point last time.  I went back and read my blog from the first IVF.. and I read the post about the meds, thinking to myself "calm down chick!!"  But then I remembered how physically and emotionally exhausted I was from being so naive and not knowing what to expect, what to do, who to ask...... I think this time is less stressful mostly because I know what lies ahead.  I know what will happen next, what the bloodwork and ultrasound results mean, what I should or shouldn't be worried about.  So for now, I am not stressing about anything.  I am just taking the meds and waiting patiently for the next step.  I will post again after my suppression check.

Here is a picture of my meds.  Should have taken the class, huh?!