Ultrasounds 2 and 3

So this week has been a crazy week filled with doctors, bloodwork, and ultrasounds!  I basically have to go in every other day so the doctor can monitor my estrogen level to make sure it isn't getting too high, as well as checking on how many eggs I am growing, how big they are, and to help them determine when I am ready to take the shots to trigger ovulation for the egg retrieval.  The doctor today said my uterine lining looks "great!!" and she said I am a rare case (in a good way) because all of my eggs are growing at the exact same rate, while my estrogen level is staying pretty low, which is the "ideal" scenario.  I told Will that I feel like I am the star student in class!  So, the nurse just called and said to take my stimulant meds one more time tonight, then trigger shot (for ovulation) Sunday night.  We go back Monday just for bloodwork and to talk to our nurse about egg retrieval stuff (we know the drill, lady) and then our egg retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday morning at 9am.  Of course, it would be on the one day I have a dentist appointment and was going with my mom to get her hair done, but since its for the egg retrieval, I am fine with it!  I am also very excited because the nurse said both my retrieval and my transfer will be with MY doctor.  I know he is seriously wanting me to be pregnant.. I have been a thorn in his side (so to speak) and a case he can't solve for a good 3 years, so I know he is going to do everything in his power to make sure this works.

Speaking of "making sure it works".. I have read so many sweet comments people have said to me!  I have so many people praying for us and wishing us the best.  But lets talk, friends.  I know you all are thinking exactly what we are thinking.  "Oh! I am so happy for them!!... I really hope this works... what if it doesn't work..."  We are so very excited about doing all of this again, but to say we were not terrified would be a lie.  Though there are so many positives, medically, to doing IVF a second time, the negative side of it is having flashbacks of being here 2 years ago and being so excited and calculating my due date and picking baby names and nursery colors.. only to have my world come crashing down 3 weeks later and spend the next 2 long years crawling back up from the pits of Hell.  Believe me, I haven't forgotten!  BUT I also can not let fear hold me down.  I have learned to live by one motto since we began this journey again: "Stop worrying about what could go wrong and start thinking about what could go right."  If I let my mind wander, my fear sometimes takes over and I begin to panic.  I start re-preparing myself for impact and getting my designated corner of my room ready with my shot glass and pillow that I have been to so many times for negative pregnancy tests after IVF and IUIs and pregnancy announcements and baby showers.... But then I think about what could go right.  This is IVF here.. 90ish% success for someone like me, with perfect ultrasounds and flawless bloodwork.  Yes, it could go wrong, but it could also go so, so right.  So, we are choosing to think about all of the things that could go right!! Another motto I am living by is to "give it to God and go to sleep".  There is only so much worrying and scenario playing a person can do.  And what good is it?  Does it change anything?  Does it help the outcome?  No.  The only one who can change anything or predict the outcome of something is God.  So give it to him, and go to sleep!!

So friends, do not worry about me!! I know it is scary to see me so happy and excited and know that in 3 weeks my world can collapse again, but let's as a group agree that we will not think of it again until we need to (hopefully never)  Let's all be positive, let's all pray for success, give it to God, and go to sleep!

I have a few pictures for you today.  I have the medical picture of a normal ovary (top picture 1-2 small eggs) and a stimulated ovary (bottom picture..mine have about 17.. ouch!)  and my favorite life mottos right now.  Pray for my little eggies, and send me positive thoughts on Tuesday at 9:00!