Well, the twins are officially a week old! It's been a crazy week, but I am finally finding the time to sit down and blog about the wild story that was the birth of Xander and Londyn.
Let me preface this by reminding you, I am not one to sugar coat anything. I'm going to go ahead and tell you that this story is not warm and fuzzy and sundrops and butterflies. I don't want to come off as ungrateful or negative.. especially to friends in my infertility circle that would kill to bring babies into this world. I love my kids more than anything and I would go through this all again if it meant having them here and healthy. That's the most important thing. So please remember as you read this that I am eternally grateful and blessed for the opportunity to bring these babies into the world, no matter how it happened!!
Ok, so when I last blogged, I had been placed in the hospital for pre eclampsia. I was there for about a week, staring at the walls, trying to get comfortable, stressing about everything that still needed to be done at home. Pretty boring stuff. Until September 7th. That Thursday, I woke up in so much pain. The worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I couldn't sit for more than 5 minutes, I couldn't talk, couldn't eat.. all I could think about was how much pain I was in. I couldn't wait for the doctor to come so I could ask him about it. So per usual they hooked me to the contraction monitor, and I happened to doze off for like, 30 minutes. Which is of course when the doctor came in. He didn't even wake me up.. he just walked out and told the nurse to monitor me as usual. I didn't even know he had come, so I was waiting and waiting until finally I asked the nurse at 2pm when he was coming and she told me he had come and gone at 9am. I was pissed and started crying and told her how I was feeling, and she called him and told him I needed to see him. While we were waiting, my parents and Will came to visit and they were all super concerned about me being in labor. Remember, I can NOT labor with a TAC. Well, the doctor finally comes at 6:45pm and basically says oh this is normal for your gestation with twins, your not dilated, basically suck it up until the 13th. My mom took him in the hallway and was telling him how serious this was and that I needed to have the c section immediately, and he refused. So needless to say we were all furious, I was so upset, and still in horrendous pain. Around 8pm everyone leaves because it's obvious he's going to make me suffer for another 4 days until my scheduled c section date. The nurse put me on the contraction monitor and said it would stay on for me to be monitored throughout the night. Around 11pm I hit my breaking point. I was literally writhing in the bed in pain at this point. So I call in the nurse and she looks at the monitor and says I am contracting every 3 minutes. She goes out and calls the doctor, then comes back and says we are doing the c section tonight. I panic and call Will and my parents, who have to rush back to the hospital. They start filling my IV with fluids (I've had the IV in for over a week for no reason) and it immediately starts leaking all over the place. So this 7 day IV that they've kept in for this exact reason has to be taken out and I have to get a new one in the other arm. Before I know it I am being wheeled to the OR for the epidural. We get to the room and I assume the position, and the girl can't find the correct place for the medicine. Everytime she injects the medicine, I feel it to the right side of my body. She keeps asking if I feel it "in the center" and I keep telling her no. So she tries 3 times and I start hyperventilating. I feel like I haven't drank anything in a year, I feel like its 200 degrees, I feel like I can't stay hunched over for 1 more second, I feel like it's been an hour. So I start crying and begging for ice chips and asking over and over how much longer it's going to be. Finally a different person tries my spinal. I remember biting down on my hand as hard as I possibly could to make myself calm down and be still. He got it on the first try and my lower body immediately goes numb. It's at this point that I start asking for Will. Everyone keeps telling me they haven't seen him and that they are looking but he's not here yet. I ask for my phone but they say I can't have it but check it for me and say there is no missed calls. Then the doctor says that this is an emergency and we can't wait. So he does the c section and I'm alone and scared. At 12:57am.. I heard the most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my life.. my baby's cry. All 6lb3oz and 18in of her. I immediately started bawling. Then a minute later my baby boy came, weighing in at 6lb5oz and 20in long. They started working on them both and the nurse took pictures as I got closed up. I started shaking uncontrollably and the nurse said it was from the spinal. It felt like an eternity before they were finished closing because I was by myself. I just kept thinking it wasn't supposed to be like this, why didn't the doctor listen, Will just missed the birth of his twins. I was sad and happy and scared and hot and thirsty and wanted my husband more than anything. Finally, Xander and Londyn were taken to the nicu and I was wheeled back to the room, where my parents and Will's mom were waiting for me. Once again I asked for Will and was told he had rushed down to the nicu, and he was furious. Will got there 15 minutes after I called him. During our hospital tour, they told us that the husbands wait in the room and someone comes to get them after they are finished with the spinal. So that is where he was waiting the entire time.. and no one came to get him. Apparently the doctor saw him on the way to the nicu and tried to congratulate him. When he put his hand on Will's shoulder, Will yanked in away and said he was doing everything in his power not to punch him in his throat. Will filed a complaint with the hospital about the doctor and the nurses and the whole situation. The nurse told me I could go see the babies as soon as the spinal wore off, so until then Will was sending me pictures and I was eating my long awaited ice chips. After about 2 hours we went down to see the babies. I was able to hold, feed, and burp Londyn and was told she would be released to me the next day. Xander had more fluid on his lungs and was having breathing/blood sugar/body temp issues, so he was placed in an incubater and given oxygen and an IV. I was so overwhelmed, shocked, and exhausted after seeing the babies and Will. We went back to the room and I passed out.
The next day I woke up and was still in shock. I had 2 babies!! And they are alive and well!! They brought Londyn to the room and Will and I started our journey as parents. We visited Xander in the nicu and were basically just figuring things out and staring at our precious baby on this day.
2 days after the twins' birth is when things started going wonky. I woke up that morning and my legs were swollen beyond belief. My feet were so swollen that I couldn't walk. The nurse took my blood pressure and it was 151/98. It continued to be that high throughout the day. The doctor said I was having the aftereffects of pre eclampsia. It was scary, but not as scary as the other thing that happened that day. I was brushing my teeth that morning and noticed it felt really weird when I spit. Like I just had a cavity filled. I looked up in the mirror and noticed when I tried to smile or blink, the right side of my face didn't quite respond correctly. I have heard of a few people I know getting Bell's Palsy, so I knew immediately what it was. I called the nurse, who called the doctor, who confirmed the diagnosis. Bell's Palsy. On that day, it wasn't terribly noticable. Maybe a little lopsided smile and an eye that was a tiny bit slower to blink, but not bad. However, it continued to worsen over the next 48 hours, to the point that I'm at now: the right side of my face is completely paralyzed. Do you know how difficult it is to finally have the babies we have waited 7 years for.. who everyone wants to visit and snuggle and who you want to show off more than anything in the world.. but can't now because you are so self conscious about your face.. which stresses you out.. which sends your blood pressure through the roof again?! It's awful. I'm beginning to accept it now, but I'm still not comfortable being around people. I honestly want to lock my doors and hide out in my house until it goes away. All I can do is pray that happens soon.
So that is pretty much where we are now. Will and I are over the moon ecstatic to be parents and so in love with our kids. Having Londyn at home is the greatest blessing from God. She is a complete daddy's girl already. Xander is still in the nicu and we wish he was home more than anything.. but he is improving every day and we are so grateful for that. He should be home very soon! I am on blood pressure medicine now and it has helped my pressures significantly. My swelling is gone and my body is starting to feel normal again. I am still dealing with the Bell's Palsy, but I hear it takes anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months to recover from. For me its been 6 days. I'm hoping I heal closer to 2 weeks than 6 months.. but it's completely out of my control so I'm trying not to stress about it.
So there it is folks! The birth story of my long awaited, prayed for, cried over, paid thousands of dollars for, wasn't sure I would ever get, extremely loved twin babies. Is it a perfect story? no. Is it how I envisioned the joyous experience of giving birth? hell no. Am I struggling right now? absolutely. But coming from someone who has given birth before with a much different, way more horrific outcome...the most important thing remains the same. Xander and Londyn are here. They are perfect. We are parents. And I am in love!
Last Pregnant Picture! 35w1d. Babies born 35w2d
Baby B: Xander James Powell 6lb5oz 20in
Baby A: Londyn Mae Powell 6lb3oz 18in
Because Will missed the birth, nicu allowed us to take Londyn to visit her brother so we could see them side by side. Such a blessing!
Londyn Mae 2 days old
Xander James in Nicu 7 days old
Londyn Mae 7 days old
Londyn after her first bath! That hair..
Xander is oxygen free at 8 days old. So ready to have him home!
I'll continue to update this blog as we continue this journey as parents. I feel like I've taken it this far and people are still reading.. so why stop now?! Hopefully the next time I blog, Xander will be home, I'll be recovered from Bell's Palsy, and life will take on some sort of normalcy. Thank you all so much for following me and supporting me on this road we have been on since 2011. I'm so excited to share this new chapter with you!!
CONGRATULATIONS!! Your twins are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteI don't remember how I started reading your blog but I have been following you since your first pregnancy. I wish you, Will and the twins all the happiness and health in the world.