Dear Zoey and Piper; Future Plans

Hi Everyone!

It has been a very hard few weeks.  My girls' official due date was March 24th, but being twins they would have been here a few weeks early.  So right now, I should be on maternity leave.  I should be getting NO sleep, learning how to feed and change 2 babies, and taking a ridiculous amount of pictures and clogging everyone's news feed with newborn twin pictures.  I've learned that for the rest of my life I will be thinking in terms of how old my twins would be and what I should be doing with them right now.  All the way from potty training, to bringing them to school with me everyday, to proms and weddings.  I'm sure it will hurt less as the years pass, but it will never go away.  I will never forget about my girls, and I don't want to.  I am writing a letter to them at the end of this entry, and I will do this every year around this time for the rest of my life.  I can only hope my girls can read my thoughts, and I hope God will hold them in his arms and explain to them how much their mommy loves them and continues to honor their memory always and forever.

It is so difficult to think about the future.  For one, no baby could ever replace my girls.  They have left a hole in my heart that will never be filled.  But I can't give up on my dream of being a mom.  I just can't.  I know I am only 27 and I have plenty of time to become a parent, so I have to think about what the future looks like for me.  Also, I am absolutely terrified of being pregnant.  Most doctors say if I get pregnant again, I can get a cerclage and "probably" carry to term, with lots of bedrest and progesterone shots.  I'm not sure if you know this, but progesterone shots are given with a 2 inch intramuscular needle.  The medicine is in oil, so it is very thick and gives you a ridiculous charlie horse when it goes in.  I had to take it for 65 days with the girls and by the time I was finished, I thought I was going to die.  My entire butt was bruised and scarred.  I can not imagine having to take these every day for 9 months.  I would also have to be on bedrest from 16 weeks until delivery.  I was on bedrest for 10 days with the girls and it was excruciating.  I could never have a baby shower, set up a nursery, register at babies R us, take maternity photos, and I would get very weak, making labor the worst experience ever.  All of this for an only 80% success rate.  Well as you know, I am NEVER on the good side of those kinds of statistics.  I can almost guarantee you the cerclage would fail for me and I would lose yet another baby.  I truly do not think I can go through that again.

Luckily for me, there is another kind of cerclage, the TAC (transabdominal cerclage).  This is placed pre pregnancy.  It is placed super high on the cervix, so it never has a chance to dilate or shorten.  This cerclage has a 99% success rate!! I would not have to have any bedrest and NO progesterone shots.  I could also carry twins with this cerclage.  I remember being SO frustrated with my doctors as I was in the process of losing the girls, and hearing them saying "oh this does not work with twins" "this cerclage will not hold in a twin pregnancy" "research says this will not work with twins".  When we do IVF again, I will definitely transfer 2 embryos.  There is just something about going through the whole process of IVF that makes you not want to gamble on just one embryo.  But last time I transferred 2 we were blessed with twins.  I just know transferring one will result in a negative, and 2 will result in twins.  Having a TAC is the only thing that will ensure a healthy baby at the end of the road, be it one or two.  I am excited to take this precaution before I think about doing any other treatments. 

Another blessing comes in the form of Will's new job!! His insurance covers (wait for it...) 90% of IVF!!! we will be enrolling in November, and possibly starting another round of IVF (third times a charm???) in summer 2016 (with a TAC).

Until then, we are just trying to reset.  We have booked a cruise to the Bahamas this year for our anniversary!  I have wanted to go on a cruise since I was 16, but we have spent every extra dollar on fertility for the past 4 years.  This year we decided to use that money for US, and are excited to get away for a week!  I have also started a kickboxing workout regiment, that is really helping me get my aggression out and deal with the "anger" stage of my grief :-) 

If you would like to donate to my TAC surgery, I have a gofundme page I will link at the end of this entry.  I know, it is ridiculously selfish to ask for money again, especially after I JUST said I booked a cruise.  Rest assured we are putting money back to get this surgery, but I would really like to get it this summer, as it has a pretty lengthy recovery time and I want to get it long before we start another IVF to eliminate any risk of infection and to be sure it holds steady.  I won't push it, but should you feel so inclined, we would be forever grateful to you :-)

So those are the plans.  rest and reset, TAC, and in 16 months, jump on the IVF train again.  But for now I am grieving.  So without further ado, this is for you ZoZo and Pip



Dear Zoey and Piper,
      You should be keeping me up all night right now!  I just now you two would have tag teamed on me.  Piper would be sleeping soundly, and Zoey would start screaming and crying, which would wake Pip up, who would start crying.  I would feed one and the other would need a diaper change.  I'm sure I would not have showered for at least a week.  I would be frustrated, frazzled, annoyed, and confused!  I would be calling my sister every day to ask her how in the world she managed twin girls.  I would be calling my mom to come over and calling for backup every hour.  But it would be the most beautiful chaos I've ever heard.  The silence without you here when you should be is deafening.  You could cut it with a knife.  My chest physically hurts when I think about what my life should look like right now if God didn't take you from me.  Zoey, I miss the crazy flips you did in my belly all day and all night.  You always made me feel like I was on a roller coaster.  If daddy ever wanted to feel the babies move, I would always say "put your hand over here, Zoey is flipping again!!" The doctors could never find your heartbeat.. and I would say "is she ok!?!?!" and they would say "yes.. she just won't be still!!" We always knew you would be our crazy girl.  Piper, I miss the way you were always stretched out when we saw you.  You would always be laid all the way out, legs stretched out, hands behind your head.  Your heartrate was always so much lower than your sister's because you were always napping!! We always felt bad for you because Zoey was constantly kicking you!!  I remember the last time I saw you, you were all the way head down, ready to come out, but you were still stretched out, heart rate slow, just as calm as can be, despite the chaos happening around you.  We always knew you would be our sweet, cuddly baby girl.  I hope you two are together.  I hope you can feel how much I love you and miss you.  I hope you know how many people have made wonderful things in your memory.  You are so loved.  I promise you that if we ever have any more babies, you will always be a part of our lives.  Your brothers and sisters will know about you.  I will never stop talking about you.  I will always wonder who you would have been.  We love you so much.  Happy birthday baby girls.
-Love-
Mommy

GoFundMe TAC surgery

Soreness

Hi everyone. 

Does anyone even read this anymore? I can't believe I started it in 2011, thinking it would be an educational, informative blog about IVF, from consultation to cute little baby.  Now here it is, 2015, writing the most depressing blog ever.  Oh and by the way, still no baby (living, anyway).
We miss our girls.  But it's so hard to describe what exactly it feels like to miss your own babies after the beginning stages of constant breakdowns and sob sessions.  If I could relate it to something, I would relate to that soreness you have after a really hard workout.  When you're asleep, you don't hardly feel it.  When you wake up it hits you all at once.  You don't even want to move, you just want to lay perfectly still or go back to sleep so you can't feel how sore you are.  But you can't do that.  So you get up (ow), take a shower(ow), get ready(ow), go to work, cook dinner, clean... etc. etc.  You function like a normal person, but you are soo sore.  I have that kind of dull soreness right at the center of my soul.  No one knows I live with this soreness every day because I don't talk about it.  I mostly don't want people to pity me or associate me with sadness and heartache.  So I do everything I did before Zoey and Piper, but now everything is so much harder because of the soreness I have to carry with me every day, forever.

Honestly, I'm thankful for the soreness.  I'm thankful I am even able to go back to "normal", some people in my support group are still on antidepressants and still out of work.  I'm thankful for the plethora of memory items I have for them and that I can look at their pictures and feel love, and not have a meltdown.  I'm thankful that I hurt for them because it means I won't forget them.
I wish I could talk about my new babies like other moms.  I wish it wasn't awkward when people ask if I have kids.  I wish I could post pictures of my girls on facebook and talk about cute things they do.  I wish I could hold other peoples newborns or listen to baby conversations without dying a little inside.  I wish my girls were here.

I hope no one I know has to experience this soreness.  I hope people understand why I slink away from anything baby related and don't get offended.  I hope people don't feel uncomfortable talking to me because of the blanket of grief I carry around with me.  I hope people see me for more than just a girl with horrible luck with fertility.

So for the most part, everything is back to normal in our lives.  But next time you work out really hard, and feel that soreness in the morning, remember that is what it feels like to miss your child when the dust settles, right in the center of your soul.  Don't feel sorry for me though.. it's a good soreness.  It is a soreness completely reserved for my sweet baby girls.  And for that, I am thankful.

If anyone still reads this, you are a trooper!!

  

"Memory" Christmas

Hi friends! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.  For my family, it was so very difficult.  If you asked me 2 months ago what my plans were for Christmas, I would have told you we were buying our first family ornament for our tree, we were getting the cribs for the girls, and painting the nursery during break.  Instead, our world was rocked 6 weeks before the holiday and we have spent every day since then trying to climb out of the rubble and learn to live again. 

We did not decorate at all this year.  We didn't buy gifts for everyone or go to Christmas parties or watch Christmas movies.  If it weren't for social media, I probably wouldn't have even known when Christmas was here.  Instead of preparing for Zoey and Piper's arrival, I spent the last month trying to find ways to keep their memory alive, to find ways to always remember them and bring value and worth to their short lives.  These are ways people have helped us treasure the sweet existence of our precious baby girls.

Cards For the first 2 weeks after the girls were born, we recieved at least 6 cards in the mail every day!  Mostly people from my work, but also from complete strangers!  I also joined 2 support groups online and received books, letters of encouragement, and articles from women who have been through this.  I also got some sweet home made cards from my little first graders!  This small gesture meant so much to me.  Just knowing so many people were hurting with me, praying for me, and thinking of me enough to reach out.  Thank you everyone who made this effort!

Memory Trees These came from Will's friends at work.  They sent 2 beautiful Japanese Maple trees.  We are keeping them in storage for now, and will plant them in the spring.  Maybe in March, since that is when they should have been here.  We didn't have a funeral service for the girls because we had them cremated, so maybe we will have a memorial service when we plant the trees.  

Tattoo Pretty much the day after everything happened I decided I wanted to get a tattoo to remember my girls.  This was so meaningful to me.  I wanted something that would be with me forever, so they would be with me no matter how much time passed or how many events happened after this.  I wanted to look in the mirror and see their names and footprints and think of them 20 years from now.  Jewelry gets lost, pictures get tucked away, but this tattoo would never leave my side.  I craved it.  I needed that constant reminder in my life.

Necklace I started reaching for anything to validate my feelings after the loss of my babies.  I researched infant loss, I read articles and books, I participated in my support groups.  One thing that helped me a lot was going on pinterest and searching "infant loss" and reading all the quotes and pins.  One thing I particularly loved was a necklace that said "too beautiful for earth".  I loved this because I remember saying this to Zoey and Piper right before and right after they were born.  I remember looking at Zoey and whispering in her ear "you are too good for this world" and telling Piper "you are so beautiful, you belong in heaven amongst the angels".  This necklace spoke to me because it is what I told my girls, and how I felt with all of my heart.  So I pinned it and moved on.  Well, my wonderful first grade team found that I pinned this necklace, came together and bought it for me.  They even had the girls names engraved on the back :-)

Ring This one came as a total surprise to me!  Will bought this for me as a Christmas present.  The ring has a topaz in the center (the girls' birthstone) with 3 diamonds on each side (one side for Zoey, one side for Piper).  How thoughtful and sweet!

Keychain These were a present from me.  I have so many different things to help me remember the girls, but I wanted other people to have something to remember them by too.  I thought of everyone who was with me in the hospital and experienced first hand the birth and death of Zoey and Piper.  I custom ordered keychains for each of these people, including Will and myself, to keep with them as a constant reminder of these precious angels.  Forever in our hearts!

I hate that I had to spend Christmas trying to find ways to remember my girls instead of preparing for their March arrival.  It's hard, it's sad, it's not fair.  But I feel God working in my life.  I have to remind myself everyday that God is not punishing me, that is not his way.  He is strengthening my soul.  He is giving me scars to bear to build my character.  His plans for me are so much bigger than what I can see or imagine.  Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. I hate this valley, I hate it.  But for now I will spend my days remembering my girls and using this pain to strengthen my faith, to help others, and to show people just how strong I am. 

Thank you to everyone who has made an effort to help the world remember my babies!

God, is that you?

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who has reached out to me during the past 3 weeks.  I have had strangers or people who I haven't spoken to in years message me or send me cards and books, letting me know they are thinking of me.  People who have always been there for me have cried real, genuine tears for me and I know their hearts honestly broke for me as this tragedy struck my family.  I am so moved by the amount of people who love me and want to help me through this.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Over the past 3 weeks, I have done nothing but try to make sense of this situation.  After all the reading, posting, talking, and thinking, I have come to this conclusion: it makes no. damn. sense.  It makes no sense why this would happen to me.. or anyone.  But I have found that while some people run away or question God's existence, I am finding myself drawing closer to God and trying to really hear him and listen to what he is trying to say to me.

God is not doing this to punish me.  That is not God's way.  So what is he trying to do?  I think God is trying to teach me to STOP trying to control my life and give it to Him.  I remember every treatment we did, my prayer was "please God, let this work." "Please God, let me get pregnant this time" "Please God, make me pregnant" and the answer each time? No. Then I became more aggressive and did IVF again and made SURE it worked.  My prayer after I got pregnant was "Please God, let them both stick" "Please God, let it be twins" and then it was.  And then my prayer was "Please God, let them both continue growing." "Please let them both be healthy" "Please let them both be ok" Well, they were ok.  They were healthy.  But then my body couldn't carry them and they both died.  God, is that you?  Is that you telling me if I would have prayed for your will instead of mine, maybe only one embryo would have developed and I would still be carrying a healthy baby?  Or is it you telling me a biological baby isn't your plan for my life?  Did you choose me to adopt, Lord, and I am not listening to you?  God, what do you want from me?

I used to hate when people said "God's plan will prevail." Oh, so it was God's plan for me to spend 40,000 and have only 2 dead babies to show for it?  But now, after many weeks of thinking, I am realizing that was not God's plan.. that was my plan.  I know God is not punishing me, but I feel like this is happening to me because I am not listening to him or letting him be the leader in my life.  I wanted to be the leader in my life.  And He is showing me that does not work.

So now here I sit, with one little frozen embryo left in storage, ready for transfer whenever I am.  I am terrified to do anything.  Every part of bringing a baby into the world for me will be absolute torture.  Not only do I have to fear whether or not I will even GET pregnant with our last little embryo, which will be our only shot at pregnancy for years (or ever), but if I do get pregnant, now I have to fear staying pregnant and carrying the baby to term.  No gender reveal, no baby shower, no setting up a nursery.  Now I won't even enjoy seeing my baby on the ultrasound, I will just be like "cute, now what is my cervical length?  Does everything look ok?" So I'm not sure when I will ever be ready for that.

Right now I am really trying to open my heart to what God is trying to teach me from all of this.  I really hope I can find some peace and understanding from this tragedy.

 

Fly high, sweet girls

Thank you everyone who has reached out to me, prayed for me, and grieved with me during this terrible tragedy we are now facing.  I feel I owe it to everyone to explain what happened since you all have been a part of this journey for many years.

Last time I updated, Will and I had gone to our anatomy scan and learned my cervix had shortened to 1.6 with funneling.  We were sent to labor and delivery and put on bed rest.  I stayed on bed rest for a week and went back on 11/4 to see if the condition improved.  The doctor told us my cervix had shortened even more to a 0.8 with severe funneling, meaning my body was trying to go into labor.  I was not a candidate for a cerclage (where they stitch the cervix closed to keep babies in) because studies showed it does not work in twin pregnancies.  I was then sent by ambulance to Vanderbilt.  My mind could not grasp  the seriousness of the situation.. I thought I would go to Vandy and they would be able to do some high tech magic to fix me and my girls would be fine. 

We get to Vandy and my cervix is remeasured.  She then tells me I now have "no measurable cervix" and I am 100% effaced.  These babies were coming soon.  She told me there is nothing they can do for me until I am 23 weeks.  I was only 20 weeks.  I was put in the hospital to measure contractions, which luckily I was not having any.  We checked babies heartbeats every night and they were always perfectly healthy.  After 2 days she sent me home.. saying that because I was not having contractions she was "optimistic" I would see her back at 23 weeks, when she could give me steroids to help the babies lungs develop and give me meds to stop labor if needed.  So I went home to begin my 19 day wait for the blessed 23 week mark!

I lasted 5 days.  On 11/9, I began having some serious menstrual cramps.  When I went to pee,  I noticed the tiniest bit of blood when I wiped.  I ignored it.  My brain completely shut down as I thought surely not. No. This isn't happening.  But as the day progressed the cramps got worse and I still was bleeding.  "Will, I think we are in trouble" I said.  He called my parents and my aunt, who all reassured me that everything was probably fine and not to worry too much and stress the babies.  But in my heart I know this was coming to an end.  We called my doctor and he said to go to Labor and Delivery to get checked out.  The nurse gives me a pelvic exam and immediately tears up.  "Not good, huh" I said.  She told me she could feel my baby's water sac.  The doctor said Zoey's water sac was protruding and they were worried about infection.  He said the situation was "dire", we are "up against the wall" and "if infection had set in I would deliver within 24 hours".  I am numb.  I literally can't feel anything.  I just kept saying thing like "okay" and "yes, I understand".  Then he said I did not have any infections, but I was starting to have very painful contractions.  After about 40 minutes of the worst pain of my life (so far) the nurse checked me and said I was fully dilated.. and there was blood everywhere.  The doctor said we were "at the point of no return".  Still numb.  I just said "so we are ready to deliver then" He said the first one was ready to come, and the second could come immediately, or it could take days.  He said there was no time for an epidural or anything.  Then the worst thing ever happened.  He broke Zoey's water sac.  This snapped me into reality and I screamed and wailed.  I just remember screaming her name and telling her how sorry I was.. and before I knew it I was pushing out my beautiful Zoey.  She was alive.  The nurse wrapped her up in a blanket and hat and handed her to me.  I told her she was so beautiful, she was a good girl, mommy and daddy love her so much, and she gets to go straight to heaven.  I guess Piper know mommy couldn't handle much more, because then the doctor said "the second one is ready" and 8 minutes after Zoey, precious Piper was born, alive.  I handed Zo to her daddy and told Piper the same things I told her sister.  They looked so different.  Zoey had a round face with a cute little button nose, while Piper had a skinny face with a pointier nose.  It would have been so easy to tell them apart.  The doctor and nurses gave us about an hour to be with our sweet girls.  They got to meet their mommy and daddy, mimi and papa (my parents), Tia (my aunt), and grandma (Will's mom)  Their short lives were filled with so much love.  The nurse then weighed them and got their foot and handprints.  Of course, Zoey was being stubborn (as usual) and wouldn't give her handprints.  The hospital gave us the most beautiful memory boxes with blankets, hospital bracelets, papers with their names, birth weight/length, and time of birth, and their feet and handprints.  They also gave us funeral home phone numbers.  We told them we wanted them to be cremated so they could be with us always.  They asked us if we wanted them to be together or seperate.  We chose separate. They were so different, and we always believed in giving them their individuality, so it was an easy decision for us.

The next day was the hardest.  The numbness had worn off, and I woke up at 3am and forgot.  I forgot they were gone.  I was waiting for them to kick me.  I thought maybe it was a really bad dream. It wasn't.  So I had a huge meltdown/panic attack and the nurse had to run in and give me xanex.  The following day I had to fill out and sign birth certificates for my girls.  Turns out, if they weigh enough, they are considered "people" (really?!) and are given birth/death certificates and social security numbers.  This was the most absolutely awful.  Then came the flood of nurses and social workers and volunteers and everyone else under the sun trying to give me resources and helpful words and prayers.  I could not stop crying.

My doctor has diagnosed me with an incompetent cervix.  This is when your cervix is weak and shortens/dilates way before it is time to deliver.  This is especially common in twin pregnancies, but still only happens to about 1-2% of all pregnant women.  Figures it would be me, why wouldn't it be?  There are measures to be taken if we wanted to try again (cerclage, progesterone shots, weekly checks) but of course none of these work in twin pregnancies.  My girls were healthy and perfect.  My body failed them.  And I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Needless to say, Will and I are completely devastated, drained, traumatized.. I really don't think there have been words invented yet that describe how you feel when you lose a child, especially one you have worked for for over 3 years.  I just don't understand God's logic and why he chooses to constantly test me. 

I appreciate everyone's support and prayers during this dark time in my life.  Once again, the sun will come up each day.. the world will continue to turn even though I feel like I am dying inside.  I will never forget my sweet Zoey Jane and Piper Ivy, I just pray each morning I wake up the day is a little easier, so that I may soon see the sunshine again and go on living a normal life again.

Mommy and Daddy will love you forever, sweet tiny angels.

Anatomy Scan and Bedrest!!

Well, today has been a very crazy day.  What we thought would be a fun anatomy scan to see our girls' organs and get to watch them for an hour turned into a trip to labor and delivery to monitor contractions, new meds, and strict bedrest.  Here's how it all happened..

We got to the perinatal appointment and I was already annoyed because the nurse got ready to start the scan and had recorded that it was 1 fetus, so I told her it was 2 and she said (rudely) "oh.. no one told us that.. ::ugh:: .. hold on.." and walked out of the room.  We started the scan and found that they were definitely both girls!  No question about it.  Then she says "have you been feeling any pressure?" So I say yes, when I stand up, but it just feels like I have to pee?  Then I pee and it's fine.  I figured that was normal for the second trimester with twins.. apparently not.  So then she did a transvag ultrasound and found that my cervix was thinning and it was shorter than they like to see.  She said she was concerned about preterm labor and would send me to my doctor after she finished the anatomy scan.  The rest of the scan was pretty much a blur because of what she said.. but the girls are doing great.. both have 4 chamber hearts, perfect kidneys, brains look great.. they are perfect!  So I am still freaking out at this point, and then she says "Dr. Montgomery isn't here right now but he said to go on to labor and delivery (?!?!!?!!!???!?!?!) for monitoring to see if you are having contractions and are in preterm labor.  Then she has the nerve to say "but don't freak out!" 

Then, Will and I go through patient registration and get admitted into labor and delivery.. while my heart is beating out of my chest and I can't stop crying and I am scared to death something is going to go wrong with my babies.  We get into a room and she puts the monitor on me to monitor contractions.  I told Will I did not expect to see this room for another 5 months.  Dr. Montgomery came in and said this is relatively normal for twin pregnancies, especially with me being so little.  He said they would like my cervix to be a 2-3 and mine was a 1.6, so it's not terribly short, but the constant moving around and being on my feet every day is causing gravity to make my cervix thin out.  The good news is I was not having contractions and my cervix was still closed and firm, so they felt comfortable sending me home, but they gave me progesterone and imodicon to help with the thinning and put me on strict bedrest until further notice.  The nurse said I am only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom.  Dr. Montgomery is going to call with another appointment time in about a week or so to see if the situation has improved and I can be taken off bedrest or if I have to stay put.  I am hoping to be taken off soon, but from everything I have heard and researched, that doesn't look promising. 

When I got home, I researched short/thinning cervix in twins and learned that it is very normal.  I was expecting horror stories about miscarriages or still births, but the common consensus was that they were put on bed rest and closely monitored until they made it to at least 29 weeks, then they delivered their healthy babies.  So I am not as scared anymore.. I just have to make sure I follow doctor's orders and stay in bed and stop letting gravity work against me. 

I'm sure the girls will be perfectly fine, but it won't hurt to pray my cervix lengthens/thickens and gives them a nice, long time to cook in there!   

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!

Wow! What an eventful 3 days Will and I have had!

On Thursday, we went to Nashville 4d baby to get the genders of our babies.  I honestly could not even begin to guess what we were having.  I haven't really had a whole lot of symptoms.. no morning sickness, no major cravings or mood swings, nothing totally out of the ordinary that would make me think one way or the other.  Of course, Will has been saying 2 boys from the very beginning!  I was thinking either 2 boys or one of each, because I heard girls make you very sick and have crazy symptoms, which I didn't have.  So, the 4d ultrasound place was amazing!! They had a huge projector screen, couches, music.. the tech told us to close our eyes when she found the genders.  Our 15 minute ultrasound ended up being an hour because the tech was having so much fun watching the babies!! Baby A (just like at our 14 week) was super active the whole time.  She was stretching all the way out, flipping, kicking, smiling and waving!  She was kicking baby B the whole time!  Baby B was asleep at first, but after being kicked in the head a few times she finally woke up too.  Once again, she had her arms behind her head and her legs crossed, just like at our 14 week ultrasound.  It took forever to find the gender of baby B because she was crossing her legs, the cord was between them, and then she put her hand down there so the tech couldn't see!!  When she finally figured out the gender, she was cracking up because baby A was kicking B in the butt while she was trying to get a picture.  It was so much fun.. we will definitely go back when they are older and look more like little babies.. but it seems like we DEFINITELY have our hands full!!  When we were finished, the tech gave us all of the pictures except the gender ones, and the front desk lady wrote the genders on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope.  Now the wait was on for Saturday!!

Saturday was our gender reveal.  Pretty much everyone picked "boys" or "one of each".  We were trying to eat and wait for everyone while we were all staring at the gender boxes!! Everyone was SO excited to find out what was inside!! SO finally Will and I take the boxes outside.  We literally could not be more shocked to see nothing but pink balloons!! NOBODY thought we were having 2 girls.. especially not us!! I'm pretty sure Will almost passed out for a minute.  It looks like we will be having 2 little princesses (and daddy has to shine up his guns)

Little Zoey Jane and Piper Lin will be here before we know it!!  They are going to be beautiful, smart, sweet, and SPOILED ROTTEN!!

  Gender Reveal Video